How much information is too much?

♥

In yesterday's blog, I espoused the necessity for clear communication in a relationship. As I thought about that last night it occurred to me, that while it is important to be clear about your thoughts, feelings, and intentions - sometimes too much information is just TOO MUCH. Would I be a pain in the butt if I put a disclaimer on my previous blog?

I can't count how many first dates I have been on where my date feels the need to tell me every detail of his divorce; the days, hours, and percentage of time he is allowed with his minor children in his custody arrangement; how much money, property, or 'stuff' he lost in the divorce; or worse, how much sex he is getting since the divorce in his new single life (actually, only one person told me this one and I pray it never happens again). All of this information is TOO MUCH. Who cares? How does telling me any of this enhance our time together on our date? None of that makes me feel special, that's for sure. I feel more like someones counselor (or buddy in case of the 'I'm getting great sex' guy) and I am hoping to find romance. That is why I go on dates. It is rare that anyone even asks me questions about myself on a date. When they do, I am always shocked. Very pleasantly so :)

I work in an industry, property management, where I tend to spend 50% of my time counseling folks. Yes, counseling. I know most people assume all property managers do is raise rent and enforce rules, but if you have a heart - which I do - you can't help but want to be a shoulder to cry on when your residents have family issues; a financial counselor when they can't seem to catch up on rent; or a life coach when they just can't get anything together. When you spend half your day listening to other people's problems, the last thing you want to do on dress up date night Friday is hear more drama from a guy you were hoping would have romantic 'potential'. Not only is it boring, it is rude to assume I got all dolled up to listen to your problems. * Isn't it? * This is our first date and all I know about you so far is that you don't think enough of me to focus on..well, me.

When you really get down to it, the only informaton I need on a first date is knowing you think I look nice, smell good, why you find me interesting, and where we are going on our next date. In return I will tell you that you look nice, smell good, why I find you interesting, and say yes to another date. That is called 'flirting' and flirting is a very welcome activity on any date I go on. Keep it light, keep it 'fun'.

Good communication is essential, but less 'information' - well, that is just good dating skills :)

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